You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
