if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
