I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
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Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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