Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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