I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
