just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
