so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize