I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
