At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
