your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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