that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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