I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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