i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
No stitches, just platelets and will power
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
