did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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