omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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