Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
