none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
