Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Holy sore nipples Batman
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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