I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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