I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
im six kinds of drunk right now
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
