What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
