THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
