is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
