Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
