marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
