Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
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At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Randomize