Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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