Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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