The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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