just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
