i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
