I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
