I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
