Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
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Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
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it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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