Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
