His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
