i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
