your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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