Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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