Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
