Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Randomize
