He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He is an equal opportunity slut.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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