Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
