Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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