dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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