if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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