So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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