Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
my liver is dry heaving
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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