I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
