Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
