its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
